Audrey Verina: June 2014

Driven by everything I felt these days, every thoughts, every struggling, here I am. Writing. Again.

Somehow, I miss writing. Expressing my feelings.

Okay. I am no more a teenager. I am an adult. Searching for something for my future. Deciding how will my future be. And how will I spend my whole life earning money.

But, you know, it is not about money. It is job. No, it is more than a job. It is career, my life.

Career and job is a whole different thing. as you can see here :

	Career	Job
What is it?	A career is the pursuit of a lifelong ambition or the general course of progression towards lifelong goals.	Job is an activity through which an individual can earn money. It is a regular activity in exchange of payment.
Requirements	Usually requires special learning that includes individualized components that develop abilities beyond that which training is capable of.	Education or Special training may or may not be required
Risk taking	A career may not mean stability of work as it encourages one to take risks. The risks are often internal and therefore planned.	A job is “safe”, as stability of work and income is there. However shifting priorities, especially in resource jobs, can abruptly change the demand and require relocation which is an unstable factor. Risks may be completely external.
Time	Long term	Short term
Income	Varies depending on value to society or to some other entity. Non-monetary benefits may be higher. Salary is more common.	Varies by demand. More likely to be wage.
Contribution to society	May have high value as social change/progress may be possible.	May actually have a negative impact when counterproductive social practices are continued in the name of protecting jobs.

(http://www.diffen.com/difference/Career_vs_Job)

or here

A job is simply something you do to earn money. Career advancement is not something you’re interested in there and the work often doesn’t interest you at all. In five years, you’ll likely not be doing anything like your current job.

A career is a series of connected employment opportunities, where you build up skills at earlier employment opportunities to move you into higher paying and higher prestige employment opportunities later on. In five years, you’re planning to be doing something very similar to what you’re doing now, but hopefully with more income and more interesting problems to tackle.

(http://www.thesimpledollar.com/)

Thinking of this, no, I can't just look for a job. I need to find what I am good at, what I really want to be. I am not just earning money for life, I should be a great career woman, who will be known for her achievements and skills.

But,,,

This is the biggest problem:

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT :(

I have been thinking of this, for past few weeks. And I feel so down.

I feel that I can't just stay here. Just sit and watch and doing this stupid routine without having any guarantee for my FUTURE.

Please, Oh dear, I ain't staying here. I am going to somewhere else better! One day! Just wait and see!

But then,

I realize, those big companies I dream about always requires graduates from REPUTABLE UNIVERSITY.

There I go, down. Again. Since my university is not a reputable uni.

And I have been thinking, will I get the chance to get on top?

I have applied to some big companies I've been dreaming of. And it has been 2-4 weeks. I haven't got a clue. For now, I am just hoping that they will call me to have a test and an interview.

Or maybe, they won't. just because I am not from a reputable university.

I once thought: I have my working experience, that will make me worth one day. But I don't think so.

Yes, I have been very negative thinking about this kind of thing.

But I do believe that I can achieve my dreams one day. One day.

I should start working on myself. Improving myself for better future.